Once upon a time a girl named Laura lived in Columbus, Ohio. She had a nice family, and got good grades, but it was always rainy and cold in Columbus, which was neither nice nor good, so she wore lots of sweaters and turned the heat up when her dad wasn’t looking.

Miss Alaska Emma Broyles, center, reacts after being crowned Miss America at Mohegan Sun, Thursday, December 16, 2021, in Uncasville, Conn. (Photo by Jessica Hill/AP Photo)

Juanita Robinson (L) from Ohio and Trenaya Blackburn pose as Quan White from Michigan takes their picture as they vacation on South Beach on May 16, 2016 in Miami Beach, Florida. The Florida government announced it broke a tourism record in the first quarter of this year, attracting 29.8 million tourists, an increase of 4.8 percent over the same time frame in 2015. (Photo by Joe Raedle/AFP Photo)

Filipino beauty candidates hide from the sun before a group photo during the media presentation of the Miss Philippines Earth 2017 held at a hotel in Manila, Philippines, 05 July 2017. A total of 40 environmentally aware and concerned Filipino young ladies will compete to represent the Philippines at the Miss Earth beauty pageant. Miss Earth is a pioneering beauty pageant that serves as a vehicle for environmental advocacy. (Photo by Mark R. Cristino/EPA)

Miss Earth 2016 candidates wearing environmental statement sashes lineup during a press presentation in Manila, Philippines, 11 October 2016. Eighty three young women from around the globe converged in Manila for the international beauty event. Miss Earth is a pioneering beauty pageant that serves as a vehicle for environmental advocacy. (Photo by Mark R. Cristino/EPA)

Alvine Uva, right, wrestles the winner's sash from the hands of newly-crowned Miss BumBum 2018 Ellen Santana, left after winning the Miss Bumbum Brazil 2018 pageant in Sao Paulo, Brazil on November 5, 2016. (Photo by Splash News and Pictures)

In this February 26, 1962 file photo, Mercury astronaut John Glenn, and his wife, Annie, ride in the back of an open car with Vice-President Johnson during a parade in Glenn's honor in Washington. The Capitol is seen in the background. Glenn, the first American to orbit Earth who later spent 24 years representing Ohio in the Senate, died Thursday, Dec. 8, 2016, at the age of 95. (Photo by AP Photo)

Wags the dog wears a button featuring a photo of the moment after the attempted assassination on former president Donald Trump outside the Fiserv Forum during the third day of the 2024 Republican National Convention in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, on July 17, 2024. Days after he survived an assassination attempt Donald Trump won formal nomination as the Republican presidential candidate and picked Ohio US Senator J.D. Vance for running mate. (Photo by Nick Oxford/AFP Photo)