A fan of Colombia cheers prior to a qualifying soccer match against Venezuela for the FIFA World Cup 2026 at Metropolitano stadium in Barranquilla, Colombia, Thursday, September 7, 2023. (Photo by Fernando Vergara/AP Photo)
“Why do you keep blowing the trumpet, young man?
You'd better lie in a coffin, young man!”
On that life-affirming note, let me congratulate you (yes, it's been a tough year, and the next one will be even tougher better). Happy New Year! And now disco.