Frances Fowler leads the Bowie VFD Marching Thoroughbreds in the Bowie 4th of July Parade in Bowie, Md., on July 4, 1976. (Photo by James M. Thresher/The Washington Post via Getty Images)
“Why do you keep blowing the trumpet, young man?
You'd better lie in a coffin, young man!”
On that life-affirming note, let me congratulate you (yes, it's been a tough year, and the next one will be even tougher better). Happy New Year! And now disco.